Life Is A Roller Coaster

No... not Ronan's song but if you like it you can listen to it here.  Ronan's song is more related to love and yes that too is a roller coaster.

Generally our lives resemble a roller coaster ride with all the ups... downs... twists... and turns. We all go through these ups and downs and twists and turns. I'm not sure how many of you have taken roller coaster rides. I have a few times... and it is not my cup of tea. The idea of feeling my balls in my throat is no fun. It should belong down there or somewhere else but definitely not in my throat. There are some roller coaster freaks who travel the world seeking new roller coaster rides and the ultimate roller coaster rides. The so-called aficionado of roller coasters. I guess they like the feeling of having their balls in their own throats or their boobs in their ass. Whatever... it's their prerogative. I know I don't.

Anyway, remembering my ride... in Genting Highlands. I took the Corkscrew once and when I got off I had to tie my legs to two poles for support as they had turned into jelly. I'm acrophobic... that's why. Then there was  the Cyclone. You have to queue for the Cyclone... a long queue. First... I have to pay... then I have to queue and for what? So I can feel my balls in my throat. Great huh? Great logic. Anyway, I had to... all in the name of love, supposedly. Women love to blackmail... "if you love me, you'll take the ride with me"... NO... for me it is.. "if I love you, I will ride you".

Ok, jokes aside... the time came and I happened to be able to bypass the long queue as everyone wanted to hold dicks and take the rides together. They were mostly in groups. There were two empty seats and we were the only couple in about 20 people ahead of us so we grabbed the chance when we were offered by the attendant. We got second row seats. The ride starts... it chugs away... literally chugs. I could have got off and push it, it would be faster but that's how it is as it needs to reach the peak to gain the momentum. Then the moment arrives... at the peak and down you go... down... up.... down... twist... turn... up.... down... my girl's screaming away. I screamed along as she complained that I was no fun at the last ride. Apparently it is more fun when you scream... for me it is more fun to see others scream. Anyway, "You scream, I scream"... like Titanic's "you jump, I jump"... romantic kan? Hahaha... in the name of love remember? Then my girl screams "TAKUTNYA!" (It's so frightening!)... then the lady in front screams back... "duduk depan lagi takutlah!" (It's more frightening seated in front!)... Ummm... did we ask? From then on we were no longer screaming but laughing out loud. But... the ride was just so-so. It was nothing compared to the Orbiter.

The Orbiter was really something else. It was the one ride I voluntarily took without any blackmail... and the biggest mistake ever in my entire life. It looked like fun and certainly didn't look scary but  I didn't know that when I arrived it was at the slowing down cycle. Duh!! Idiot. Right? So, like a hero I went... the one I rode is this. This is one ride where I didn't feel my balls in my throat coz I lost it somewhere. With all the flinging, I lost my balls. The carriage seats two... it has no divider between the two persons and it is a hard slippery surface so you can slide from side to side. The only thing to stop you from flying out of your carriage is the bar they lock down, if at all. Even in the locked position I can move freely. Then it starts swinging you around 360° while you carriage is swinging another direction in 360° as well. Then it just goes faster and faster till everything is a blur. I was afraid, I was petrified but I will survive... 

I was so terrified that I had my fingers dug into the carriage, holding on to dear life. Imagine Wolverine with his claws dug in... that was how I gripped the damn carriage. Thanks be to God.... my balls re-emerged after a few days. I dare any of you to go try it. These funfairs normally appear in the outskirts of KL or in small towns. They appear in Kuantan twice a year... try it but make sure you Super Glue your damn balls. I warned you...

Back to the roller coaster rides... it is true... seated in the front is scarier... as in life... if you're the leader it is scarier as that's akin to being in the front. Most of us can handle the normal ups and downs and twists and turns. All roller coasters have its peaks... its ultimate point... the ultimate ... the point where your balls are in your throat and your boobs in your ass. If you can't handle it, you are traumatised for life and will not be able to even handle the twists and turns any longer in future. And if you're not fit and somewhat aged you risk a heart attack. And again as in life... we all can handle the twist and turns... the ups and downs we handle as well... some of us struggle constantly but pull through somehow. It is the ultimate... where most fail to pull out of. Some become bankrupts. Some go mad. Some take their life. Some become beggars. Some kill their families... and God knows what else. The difference between life and a roller coaster ride is that... in a roller coaster ride you can see the ultimate coming whereas in life you can't. You don't know if what's coming is a twist or a turn or the ultimate.

We know that all roller coasters have their ultimates and since we say that 'Life Is A Roller Coaster' so we also know that life has its ultimate point... the only question is when? So, I can only leave you with a piece of advice from the movie Bourne Ultimatum... Hope for the best and plan for the worst.