Sacrifice...

First, an old song from Elton John...

Reminds me of my first girlfriend back in the days when I was young and reckless (i.e. a total IDIOT).

I haven't posted for a whole week... not that anyone would miss my blogs anyway. But I will cram a whole week in here. As you'd probably notice by now I've got a new look on this blog... and I've added some gadgets so have some fun after reading.

Life is about choices... I always tell people this, especially my subordinates... and life is also about sacrifices. Every choice we make comes with a sacrifice... small or big, significant or insignificant, moral or immoral... there is always a sacrifice in one way or another. I watched a DVD early this week... it was Unthinkable... not the best movie around but a good watch to bring us to think about sacrifices, morals and benevolence. Really gets you thinking...

I used to ask my subordinates this... a lone child playing on a closed and abandoned rail track and his group of friends playing on an active rail track. A train is arriving at top speed and its brakes have failed. What should the track operator do? Allow that train to plough down that group of children or divert the train to the abandoned track and sacrifice the lone child? Think about it... then make your choice.

My hobby has been keeping me sane here. So, I decided to pamper myself and bought some equipment to supplement my hobby. I managed to find myself a decent tripod here for RM285.00. Bear in mind that this is Langkawi and you're not spoilt for choice like in KL. It's sturdy and has a ball head.

This is the ball head. It's real easy to use and has so much more flexibility compared to the cheap ones (free) that I have used before. Those cheap three way ones needs to be locked in at least two places whereas the ball head just requires one. Adjust the angle and lock. Simple. 

So now I can start doing more landscape shots and also night shots. But there aren't many interesting places to shoot here in the night. So I guess I am left with sunrises and sunsets. The former requires me to drive to the east side of the island and to wake up early so I guess you know the answer to that. Hahaha...

While I was at the shop I enquired if they sold filters... I was looking for CPL (Polarizer) and ND (Neutral Density) filters. Lo and behold... they did... only the CPL filter but still, I was impressed. The owner checked to see if he had a 58mm size for my lens. He did have it... the price tag showed RM65.00 but he said I can get it at RM45.00. Hmmm... a Hoya would cost at least RM135.00 for a decent one or RM195.00 for a Pro-series. But I decided to indulge and see what this RM45.00 filter could do. It is the same brand as the tripod (KeeP). See here for the effects of a CPL filter.

Well... the filter works... how well it works is the question. I am still a noob so I have no basis of comparison. All I know is that as of now I can see the difference with and without the filter.

Then the bug bit me... as usual... you've tried something nice and you want more. So I ordered my ND filter from the online store and it should arrive sometime mid next week.

And how does this tie to sacrifices? If I indulge in this then I have to sacrifice elsewhere, No? Looks like a week of sandwiches for me now...

Heavy Rain...

It's been raining for the past few days and yesterday it rained all day. And it was raining this morning too. The sea is rough as you can see from the clip (about 10:30am) and it was just as rough in the evening when Ayu and I went for dinner at Pantai Cenang. We went to a restaurant by the beach. Dinner was Tom Yum, Omelet, Som Tam and Sand.... beach sand. At first we sat outside but the winds were too strong so we moved into the restaurant yet the sand could still find its way into the restaurant. That's how strong the winds were.

Haircuts

I had my hair cut today for RM5.00. If anyone can get a haircut in KL today for RM5.00, I'll run Naked around KL.

When I left KL the price for my haircut was RM12.00 and if you're lucky you can get one for RM10.00 and that too at the local barber and not a hairdresser. Back when I kept hair... longer hair that is... which was circa 2005 my haircut at the hairdresser's in KLCC was RM35.00. That too was because I was a regular or rather the ex was a regular. I wonder how much a haircut costs now.

When Ayu finished work I took her for a haircut too as her hair was... like a broom... as the hairdresser said. Well... not really like a broom lah but you can see for yourself here... it's the last 6 inches which has become dry and unmanageable. You should have seen the guy's face when he held her hair. Hahaha... this is what happens when you subject your hair to chemicals... this is what the hairdresser said... chemicals like bleach, colours, etc... once you take that route your hair will need constant tender loving care... a.k.a. TLC. 

So Ayu really had a haircut. My guess is about 5 inches all around. As she was getting her hair cut, I found it strange that he never washed her hair... then as he was finishing he started to use the hairdryer to style her hair which was still quite unmanageable as it was dry. He commented that her hair was still very dry... so I asked Ayu... don't you want to wash your hair as well? As far as I knew, all haircuts at a salon in KL comes with a hair wash by default. then the hairdresser says... Oh! You want to wash as well?... then says he did not have time as they were closing shop. Ok.. next time... so he applies some oil or something to soften her hair and she's good to go.

Since Ayu earns SO MUCH, I decided to pay and went to the counter. The guy says RM20.00. And I went... say what? How much? I thought I heard RM20.00... so I put my ear closer and he repeats... RM20.00. I looked at him in disbelief and he repeats... RM20.00. I snapped out of my shock and paid quickly before he changed his mind. Wow! My botak head hair cut with the clipper which requires no skill whatsoever and done in 10 minutes costs RM12.00 in KL and this haircut which requires skill, styling and over an hour at RM20.00. How's that for comparison? Is that cheap or is that cheap?

Then I asked him if he could get Sebastian products as Ayu was using Sebastian. This is the reply I got... In Langkawi it is only L'Oréal.... anything other than that won't fly. No matter how good it is, if it is not L'Oréal they're not going to try. So you can forget about your Redken or Sebastian or Vidal Sassoon or whatnot. But... I have not verified this claim. And here in Langkawi... haircuts by default do not come with a hair wash... if you want one you have to say so... so I am told.

RM5.00 and RM20.00... beat that.

Ramblings

My mom called yesterday for her usual chit-chat. A sign that she's bored. She had just watched The Prince of Persia and she says it is good and wouldn't mind watching it again. So, today I went to see if what she said was true.... well, she still has it... I enjoyed myself. It was very entertaining. of course when my mom called yesterday it was also because her 'fuel' was low. Unfortunately, my pay was only banked in yesterday afternoon via cheque. So that means it's 2 business days before it clears. This is the first time I'm getting paid so late... and I certainly hope it will be the last. Sadly, there's nothing I can do about it as the law allows the employer 7 days.

Then I looked up the fuel consumption of a motorcycle. One of it stated 45kms per liter. Wowee!! That means I would use less than 15 liters a month! That's only RM27.00! And even if they overstated and it is actually double. it is still only RM54.00 per month... hmmm... motorcycle... sounds better everyday...

Things I Miss

• My mom.
• Working with a team.
• Giant/Tesco/Carrefour.
• Cavenzi.
• Drive-thru McD and KFC.
• Online cinema tickets purchasing and the comfy seats in Pavilion.
• 'Ironside' ringtone ringing on my phone.
• 22nd floor view of KLCC and KL Tower.
• Hot hoochymamas.
• Sushi King.
• MMC
• Waking up with the one I love beside me.

I Was Thinking...

As of today, my 'motorboat' has clocked 5300kms since it came on this island. My 7-year old 'motorboat' can only squeeze 8kms per liter. It used to be about 11kms per liter. It was high even then... but that's because it is slightly underpowered and has a shitty ECU which is the main culprit. I could do some modifications which would probably see me getting about 10kms per liter but those mods would cost me no less than RM5k and it would have to be done in KL. I don't have the time nor the moolah to spare at this point in time but it is something I may consider in the future.

5300kms with 8kms per liter equates to 662.50 liters and with fuel at RM1.80 per liter that's RM1192.50 in total or about RM600.00 per month. There goes Ayu's pay. Hahaha... 

If I am going to spend that kind of money a month just on fuel, then I think I am better off buying myself a motorcycle. Use the car on off days or 'official business' and the motorcycle for daily commute. What's the price of a scooter now? RM7k? If I pay RM500.00 a month on installment, I can pay off a motorcycle in  just over a year. And I get to be "King of the Road" just like everyone else! 

So... what do you think? Ada berani?

3rd Month...

Today is the beginning of my 3rd month here. Not going to blog about work.

I weighed myself this morning and the scale read 82.6kgs... this was after I did my usual morning 'investment' and before my breakfast. When I got here I was 86.8kgs. That's 4 kgs off in 2 months. The problem with weight gain and weight loss is this... when you gain weight, the first place that starts to stack all that fat is your midsection... but when you lose weight the midsection is the LAST place to shed the fat. Strange huh? Nature's way of punishing you for overindulging. This is the tricky part... if you allow the natural process, by the time you shed all your fat in your midsection the rest of your body would have taken a toll and you would look extremely frail. To avoid this from happening you need to do some balancing with resistance training like push ups and chin ups. So, that's what I have to do.

There was a time... not too long ago... probably 3 years back when I was still actively doing all this. And back then I could do 40 push ups straight... properly. Doesn't sound like much but go try it (proper ones) before you say anything. And I would do 5 sets of push ups. 40, 30, 20, 10, 10... or till failure. I used to hit the gym once a week and I could bench press (machine) 220 lbs... also not a lot but then I'm not trying to be Arnie. There were two main reasons that was my motivation then. Stay healthy and to save money so I don't have to get a new wardrobe to suit my 'new bloated size'.

Now I have one more reason to do it... testosterone. Grin...

RM615.50

Before I start off... forgive me for harping on this as this is one of the things that really gets to me about our country and also about most leaders and employers.

RM615.50 was what Ayu took home for the month of May's work. RM390.00 is her basic. The remaining is her points and if I remember correctly RM52.20 is for some adjustments. This is for a full month's work. She paid her rent which was RM280.00. RM280.00 would not even get you half a room in KL's Golden Triangle. I remember the going rate was about RM400.00 onwards for that area. So that leaves her RM335.50. Water, RM10.80 and electricity, RM53.29. She buys a pre-paid card worth RM30.00. That leaves her with RM241.40. She buys some groceries... basic stuff... cans of sardines, bread, tuna, instant noodles, condensed milk, eggs, etc.. which should last about a week... it came to almost RM100.00. So, balance is RM141.40. She has not even bought toiletries and that shit ain't cheap. Without buying toiletries she has just under RM5.00 a day to spend. Transport to work is provided. One meal per day is provided. So she can spend no more than RM5 per day for her other meal.

No savings. No insurance. No entertainment. No clothes. NOTHING. So, explain to me... how does one survive with this kind of salary? Do employers and/or owners think of this? They sit in their comfortable rooms and earn a 5-figure salary and they don't give a shit about their employees. They will just say... oh, when I was your age I earned the same amount. Bah! Frankly, 20 years ago I took home more than 50% of what Ayu did. I took home about RM1k a month... BUT... back then a bottle of 285ml Coke was about 45sen... now a bottle of 500ml Coke is RM1.70. A packet of Maggi back then was 30sen... a packet now is about 65sen. Back then an egg was about 12 sen... now 28sen if you're lucky. Wait a minute Mr. GM and/or owner... if everything is almost twice the price now, shouldn't the salaries be also twice the amount now? WTF?

Now... as an FOA... Front Office Assistant... you are regarded as having a 'respectable' job. There is opportunity for career progression etc and you need to have certain qualifications to do the job... e.g. a bit of brains, communication skills, pleasant personality, etc. But what do you get paid? RM600.00 +/-. I passed by a shop... furniture shop... advertising for a 'Sales Assistant' at RM700.00. Ok... to be fair, it is very likely that they don't provide transport nor meals and career progression is probably non-existent. But still? RM100 more for a Sales Assistant job and I probably don't have to have any knowledge of the product. Just smile like an idiot till the customer is ready to buy. Something wrong... no?

So, if a 'respectable' job gets you RM600.00 a month, what then would the chap who cuts the grass by the roadside day-in and day-out earn? RM300.00? RM400.00? Let's just saylah... just say... RM600.00... I know it is highly unlikely but just for argument's sake. They work a 5-day week so let's say 22 days a month. Which means the dude who cuts grass 7 hours a day earns about RM27.27 sen a day. How much grass can you cut in 7 hours? 1000 square feet? A decent apartment in KL is just shy of 1000 square feet. So how long does it take to cut grass in that area? 15 minutes? I think less but we shall just use 15 minutes. So, in 7 hours you should do about 28000 square feet... alone. The resort I am going to open sits on about 1 acre of land which is about 43500 square feet... but there is built up area... so the grass area is about 28000 square feet.

I enquired with these dudes how much they would charge me to cut that area... and they quoted me RM300.00. Excuse me? Is there something wrong with you or me? I asked him why? He says there were 4 of them and then there is the cost of their petrol. If it takes 1 person to do half an acre in 7 hours, how much time would it take 4 persons? Less than 2 hours... and how much is their rate of pay for 2 hours? RM7.80 per person.... multiply by 4 equals RM31.20. Okay... you are doing work outside... so let's double it... no, let's triple it... RM93.60. So, tell me... why the fuck should I pay you RM300.00? How much bloody petrol can those machines of yours guzzle? I guess I really look like an IDIOT that's why.

We have employers and owners who exploit their employees and we have employees who just want to con you. Reasonable people do not exist anymore. Frankly, I don't mind paying a person RM100.00 to do the job or 3 persons RM50.00 each to do the job. But when they try to rip me off like this... my middle finger is all they get. They'd rather get nothing than something.

Coming back to the salaries... I was watching the news the other day and they were reporting about some rubber tappers who get paid RM300.00 a month to tap rubber.... and when they get their pay checks they are left with less than RM100.00 due to deductions and advances. And they have FAMILIES. WTF? Hey! The year is 2010... you still pay RM300 a month? What is wrong with these people... the employers and owners. You don't make money from rubber? You make a shitload... but you pay a measly RM300 a month? And when these people become scums of society out of desperation, we wonder why?

Here the rate for part time work per hour in a hotel is RM2.50 vs RM5.00 (minimum) in KL. In KL you have buses till late or the trains. Here you have taxis and taxis and taxis and taxis. Food here is just as expensive, if not more than KL. I earned RM2.50 an hour 25 YEARS AGO! So why does KL pay more?

I dunno... just blogging this and thinking about it just makes me sick. Please come and smack me if I ever become like these employers and/or owners. MALAYSIA BOLEH! This is why I am 'SO' proud to be Malaysian. Tiu...

Life Is A Roller Coaster

No... not Ronan's song but if you like it you can listen to it here.  Ronan's song is more related to love and yes that too is a roller coaster.

Generally our lives resemble a roller coaster ride with all the ups... downs... twists... and turns. We all go through these ups and downs and twists and turns. I'm not sure how many of you have taken roller coaster rides. I have a few times... and it is not my cup of tea. The idea of feeling my balls in my throat is no fun. It should belong down there or somewhere else but definitely not in my throat. There are some roller coaster freaks who travel the world seeking new roller coaster rides and the ultimate roller coaster rides. The so-called aficionado of roller coasters. I guess they like the feeling of having their balls in their own throats or their boobs in their ass. Whatever... it's their prerogative. I know I don't.

Anyway, remembering my ride... in Genting Highlands. I took the Corkscrew once and when I got off I had to tie my legs to two poles for support as they had turned into jelly. I'm acrophobic... that's why. Then there was  the Cyclone. You have to queue for the Cyclone... a long queue. First... I have to pay... then I have to queue and for what? So I can feel my balls in my throat. Great huh? Great logic. Anyway, I had to... all in the name of love, supposedly. Women love to blackmail... "if you love me, you'll take the ride with me"... NO... for me it is.. "if I love you, I will ride you".

Ok, jokes aside... the time came and I happened to be able to bypass the long queue as everyone wanted to hold dicks and take the rides together. They were mostly in groups. There were two empty seats and we were the only couple in about 20 people ahead of us so we grabbed the chance when we were offered by the attendant. We got second row seats. The ride starts... it chugs away... literally chugs. I could have got off and push it, it would be faster but that's how it is as it needs to reach the peak to gain the momentum. Then the moment arrives... at the peak and down you go... down... up.... down... twist... turn... up.... down... my girl's screaming away. I screamed along as she complained that I was no fun at the last ride. Apparently it is more fun when you scream... for me it is more fun to see others scream. Anyway, "You scream, I scream"... like Titanic's "you jump, I jump"... romantic kan? Hahaha... in the name of love remember? Then my girl screams "TAKUTNYA!" (It's so frightening!)... then the lady in front screams back... "duduk depan lagi takutlah!" (It's more frightening seated in front!)... Ummm... did we ask? From then on we were no longer screaming but laughing out loud. But... the ride was just so-so. It was nothing compared to the Orbiter.

The Orbiter was really something else. It was the one ride I voluntarily took without any blackmail... and the biggest mistake ever in my entire life. It looked like fun and certainly didn't look scary but  I didn't know that when I arrived it was at the slowing down cycle. Duh!! Idiot. Right? So, like a hero I went... the one I rode is this. This is one ride where I didn't feel my balls in my throat coz I lost it somewhere. With all the flinging, I lost my balls. The carriage seats two... it has no divider between the two persons and it is a hard slippery surface so you can slide from side to side. The only thing to stop you from flying out of your carriage is the bar they lock down, if at all. Even in the locked position I can move freely. Then it starts swinging you around 360° while you carriage is swinging another direction in 360° as well. Then it just goes faster and faster till everything is a blur. I was afraid, I was petrified but I will survive... 

I was so terrified that I had my fingers dug into the carriage, holding on to dear life. Imagine Wolverine with his claws dug in... that was how I gripped the damn carriage. Thanks be to God.... my balls re-emerged after a few days. I dare any of you to go try it. These funfairs normally appear in the outskirts of KL or in small towns. They appear in Kuantan twice a year... try it but make sure you Super Glue your damn balls. I warned you...

Back to the roller coaster rides... it is true... seated in the front is scarier... as in life... if you're the leader it is scarier as that's akin to being in the front. Most of us can handle the normal ups and downs and twists and turns. All roller coasters have its peaks... its ultimate point... the ultimate ... the point where your balls are in your throat and your boobs in your ass. If you can't handle it, you are traumatised for life and will not be able to even handle the twists and turns any longer in future. And if you're not fit and somewhat aged you risk a heart attack. And again as in life... we all can handle the twist and turns... the ups and downs we handle as well... some of us struggle constantly but pull through somehow. It is the ultimate... where most fail to pull out of. Some become bankrupts. Some go mad. Some take their life. Some become beggars. Some kill their families... and God knows what else. The difference between life and a roller coaster ride is that... in a roller coaster ride you can see the ultimate coming whereas in life you can't. You don't know if what's coming is a twist or a turn or the ultimate.

We know that all roller coasters have their ultimates and since we say that 'Life Is A Roller Coaster' so we also know that life has its ultimate point... the only question is when? So, I can only leave you with a piece of advice from the movie Bourne Ultimatum... Hope for the best and plan for the worst.

Staying Sane...

I am glad I have my camera with me or else I think I would have lost my sanity by now. I didn't bring all my DVDs with me so what I have is limited. So... thank God for the camera. It is a good hobby. It keeps me occupied. You need to spend time out there and then when you get back, process the pictures and upload... and it is cheap as long as you don't end up upgrading or adding equipment. The initial investments is quite substantial but it will last you years.

Sometime when we look at pictures... we never think. We just think how beautiful it is but we never think what was put into obtaining that picture. There is a lot that goes into a picture. Creativity... the determination of going out... the patience of waiting... and courage. 

Determination is like when I do my moon shots. The skies are normally its clearest at about 0200 hours. And when you want to shoot butterflies it has to be in the scorching sun as that is when they come out. So you need determination to go under the scorching sun or staying up late. And even if you do have the determination you may not get the shot.

Then you need patience... take the butterflies for instance. They don't keep still and they normally have their wings up and not opened. Animals don't keep still. Especially wild animals. If you're in a zoo or a butterfly farm or a bird park, it is so, so much easier.

Then there is courage... yes courage. 

I saw the troop of Dusky Leaf Monkeys (we call them Lutung) today across from where I live, in the woods. So, I braved myself to go and 'hunt' them down. They can get very aggressive and me being alone I have to be cautious. It was just me against some 20 of them... so courage and prudence is important. There was a time when I had to watch my stepping as there was a hen and its chooks. Since I had to look up, I had to make sure I had a good footing and not step on the chooks. As I was looking up... a chook came over and started pecking away at my foot.

So, all this comes into play and then there are those damn mosquitoes... they're the worst.

This is the Lutung taking a piss. It scurried away as soon as it saw me. I only managed two shots of these monkeys. This and the other one in Flickr. Once this guy saw me the whole troop was informed and they just never kept still and was moving around a lot. A few of them were also 'playing' amongst themselves aggresively. It was scary as you have no idea if they would attack...

As I was trying to shoot the monkeys I came across this species of squirrel. It was fairly large. I would say about 1.5 feet long excluding the tail. It didn't seem to be afraid... maybe because it was about 30 feet up on the tree.

It just stayed there and watched me me the whole time. Cheeky guy... it never moved... just lepak-ed there and watched me the whole time. I waited and waited but could not get a shot so eventually I left. Moreover they were out of range.... as they had moved farther in and I could not go in any deeper. So, I went home.

At dusk... as I was lepak-ing on my balcony I saw the troop again. They were still there. They were lepak-ing as well... probably watching me as I watched them. Makes you wish you could lepak just like them right?

Now... when you get such opportunities and don't have the gear for a proper shot, you start thinking of getting other gear... like a 400mm lens... and therein lies the danger in photography. But the 400mm is not a priority. Top on my list will be a macro lens. It will either be a Tamron 90mm or a Canon 100mm macro lens.

That's the price of staying sane...

Happy Wesak Day!

I didn't realise it until my mom told me and reminded me that today is the 1st day of the lunar month. Every 1st and 15th I have to buy fruits and place it at a shrine located on the resort land. It belongs to the owner and since I am here I have been tasked to make sure that the 'offering' is done every 1st and 15th of the lunar calendar. So, I did what I had to do and in the afternoon I washed the car... I washed the car... not send the car for a wash. When was the last time you did that? Try it... I'm sure we've all forgotten how tedious it can be.

FFK

That's the acronym for 'Fong Fei Kei'... in Cantonese literally 'release aeroplane'... meaning being stood up.

My HRM candidate turned down the offer so I had to set up an interview for the next best candidate. I e-mailed him asking when was he available. He responded that anytime and any day... he will make time despite being busy. So I responded, Thursday... anytime after 3:00pm and venue to his convenience. He said okay and that he will get back to me. 

Well... no call, no e-mail, no show... nothing. This is Langkawi.

Then I started to think... listening to what Ayu has been saying about her workplace and observing the attitude here... I really wonder... what would happen when we open and I impose my values and work culture upon them, 100%? I'm curious... and I can't wait.

Anyway... every once in a while something good does happen to yours truly. Not in a big way but nevertheless it is a positive thing. My mom called me last night stating that I had a 'government' letter. I  knew it had to be IRB. She had already opened it and then she started to TRY to interpret to me what the contents were as it was in Bahasa Malaysia. Her version was that I had 14 days to do 'something'. I knew something was wrong. My taxes are up to date. 

So, I ask her to read the letter to me. She said she can't. I asked her... what do you mean you can't? You can read in English can't you? Well, just read it to me as if it was English. She struggles as somehow her brain keeps making her translate it and to pronounce it in Malay which make things worse.  For example, the syllable 'tin'... she pronounced it as 'turn'... whether English or BM the pronunciation is still the same... TIN... how she ends up saying TURN, I don't know. I ended up scolding her as she was not reading it the way I told her. She kept saying that she was reading it as though it was in English. I said...No you're not...  if you were, TIN wouldn't become TURN. Tin-da-kan became turn-da-kan... and to make matters worse she was not  reading it from the top! She was reading selectively. Anyway, after a lot of scolding from me... I think I know what it is. 

IRB is writing to tell me that they will be sending my refund check within 14 days for excess tax paid. That's a nice surprise... isn't it? We'll see in 14 days time.

Carcass...

The mere mention of this word reminds me of a whole roasted lamb... that's how the lamb is described in the market list of the hotel chain I last worked for... lamb carcass. I'm not a huge fan of lamb but there are exceptions. Certain parts of a whole roasted lamb is ok... as long as the 'smell' is not too strong and of course lamb shank... yummy... and Indian style lamb... wow... getting hungry.

Anyway... carcass by definition is a dead animal. Here in Langkawi carcasses are a norm. No, not whole roasted lamb lah.. literally carcasses. They're all over the place. If you travel the roads daily like I do you will see at least one carcass. It's a matter of what it was. I have seen monkeys (what was left of it I mean)... iguanas... cats... birds... chicken... dogs and many others which you no longer can tell what it was. So... you need to be careful when driving in the night. From what I hear there have been cases cows being knocked down.

The real problem are the bugs. On a normal day, you will find all kinds of bugs in the house but it is still manageable. The only way to avoid it is to keep your doors and windows shut but that would mean no air circulation. The worst is when it rains... when it rains, make sure you close all your windows and doors before nightfall as those creepy insects will come out... stupid and annoying insects. They get attracted by the lights and will fly towards the lights and die there... that's why stupid... and annoying because their wings and what's left of them will be everywhere.

I could use some red meat now... Jake's Charbroiled Steaks... yummy... a nice juicy rib-eye or sirloin now would be heaven. I've not had a steak there for over 2 years. I miss KL...

Fool's Garden...

That's the name of a group that sang the song Lemon Tree back in 1995.



So, what about the song? Excerpts from the lyrics...

I'm sitting here in the boring room
It's just another rainy Sunday afternoon
I'm wasting my time
I got nothing to do
I'm hanging around
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I'm driving around in my car
I'm driving too fast
I'm driving too far
I'd like to change my point of view
I feel so lonely
I'm waiting for you
But nothing ever happens and I wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

I'm sitting here
I miss the power
I'd like to go out taking a shower
But there's a heavy cloud inside my head
I feel so tired
Put myself into bed
Well, nothing ever happens and I wonder

Isolation is not good for me
Isolation I don't want to sit on the lemon-tree
I'm steppin' around in the desert of joy
Baby anyhow I'll get another toy
And everything will happen and you wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
And I wonder, wonder

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see, and all that I can see, and all that I can see
Is just a yellow lemon-tree

I'm bored... wasting my time... nothing to do... I miss the power... isolation is not good for me.  Life is a lemon tree at the moment. Not good right?

I wonder how... I wonder why... yes, I always do. Why do people always stick to conventions? Why don't they get creative or they can't? And when you do think of something that breaks conventions you certainly and most definitely will get resistance. Why?

Example... Ayu applies for a job and gets hired. Part of the process is to give the employee an ID card and to do so you probably need a photo for it and also another photo for the employee's file. The convention is to have the employee provide you the photos. So, what do they do? They dig their 'archives' for something so they can save a few bucks... do you blame them? I certainly don't. If they find some then you end up with an outdated photo of the time before they lost their virginity and if they don't, then you get a new photo and they have to part with some cash. Which they don't have a lot.

The year is 2010.. but we stick to conventions of the year 1980. We'd rather waste a few days and maybe weeks while the employee provides us with a photo/s than to settle the issue on the spot. These days everyone has a camera... may not be a fancy ass camera but they all do. And let's face it... they just love the camera especially women... what's the term they use now? CAMWHORE? Yes.. there's a shitload of camwhores out there. Nothing wrong with that... I love camwhores as much as I love cibai. But that's not the point.

A decent camera costs less than RM500. A decent tripod for the purpose, less than RM100. Software to crop the picture? Free... heard of www.downloads.com? For under RM600 you have total control of everything. You have control of when you get the picture. You have control of the person's grooming, appearance and what not. You can have all of them in uniform so they look smart instead of their casual wear. And best of all, you can reprint anytime and resnap anytime. Like I said... total control.

Ayu still hasn't got her ID despite sending her photos in the first week she joined.

Next... another convention. Ayu tells me that she does not take reservations. If there is a call between 9:00am to 5:00pm they transfer the call to Reservations. Wow! They still have this department here! And after 5:00pm they ASK THE GUEST TO CALL BACK THE NEXT DAY. Yup.. THE GUEST CALLS BACK AND NOT THEM CALL THE GUEST. Only in Boleh land. When I heard this a few weeks back I knew something was wrong with this hotel and I had started to wonder how (remember the lyrics? I wonder how) this hotel ONLY managed to give a point value of approximately RM150 when from my observations they seem to be doing pretty well. There were only three distinct possibilities.

1. Low rates. Which I knew was not the case.

2. Overstaffed.

3. Misappropriation of funds

So, Ayu was relating how her GM had met with the FO staff for a chit-chat. Hmmm... sounds so familiar. Apparently, he then 'realised' that he only had 14 employees in his FO. This is what I am told... I dunno. According to Ayu he was surprised as he says he has a total workforce of 200 employees. Huh? 200 employees for a 282-room hotel? No wonder they have such low point value. Where I came from it was sub-150 employees for a 364-room hotel and we churned out a much superior product. Ummm... the  superior product is not my evaluation... it is Ayu's.

Why do you need a reservations department? You have a large number of business from India and the Middle East. India is a few hours behind. So is the Middle East.  Can't the FO handle this instead of asking the GUEST TO CALL BACK THE NEXT DAY?

Remember when I said that over here, YOU are doing them a favour by giving them business? This is exactly what I mean. They have no sense of urgency. Oops... I stand corrected. They do have a sense of urgency... when they need to take a shit and the shit is literally coming out of their bung hole and they have not figured out where the toilet is. That's urgency.

It Hurts... and I'm Sorry.

Yup... mended but still hurts. I contemplated posting this on the other blog as this would reveal my much weaker side but what the heck... I'm only human.

It still hurts real bad... my heart... every time I feel this way I start to reflect on what I have done to deserve this and on those that I have caused hurt to as well. I imagine the pain they went through and when I do that it hurts even more. I think what I feel now pales in comparison to what they went through. For what it's worth, I'm sorry.

Last week, my cousin (mom's side) was on the island and we met up. She introduced me to her friend (guy)... they were drinking and I joined by having a beer. My cousin was brought up by my parents till she was about 6, then her dad took her back as he didn't like her bonding with us. Strange huh? Why didn't you raise her yourself then? Anyway, she told me that when she lived with them she was forbidden to mention us nor speak English in her home. When her late father passed on she didn't shed a tear but when my late father passed on she was crying away with me. Her moving away to stay with her parents caused us to somewhat drift apart as we hardly ever met. 

After a few drinks... quite a few actually she started to let fly... she said she was very upset with me for a very long time for something I said to her. Huh? What did I say? Oops! Oh, no! No wonder my friends keep telling me... if you have nothing nice to say keep your mouth shut.

She was being sent to the UK to study Law. When we met back then and she told me this it seems I said... with your level of English you're going there to study Law? Good Luck!... ummm... honestly, I don't remember saying such a thing but I don't disbelieve her either as I am capable of saying such things. But for the record, her English never did get better after she left us... it was still better than her elder brother's and sister's but still quite badlah. She says I really hurt her with my judgemental statement. She was in tears as she related this. And her friend didn't know what to do nor did I. She then went on to say that however, she was very thankful that I did say that as it inspired her to prove me wrong and she has. She's a certified lawyer now though not practising. I gave her a hug and said... I'm sorry.

It seems that I am the feared one in my family. I guess that's because of my cibai face. Not that cibais look bad lah... I mean I love how cibais look... well not only how they look... but let's not go there for now. I was unapproachable... still am. She says I was very judgemental... and she says that since she came back she found that I have changed... I am no longer how I used to be.

Hmmm... I'm not too sure about that. I think I just mellowed down a bit and grew a wee bit wiser to hold my nasty tongue. In my attempt to be truthful I hurt people with my blunt criticisms.

Anyway... this just confirms that I am basically an asshole with nothing nice to say about anyone.  If I had hurt you in any way... I am truly sorry.

Veto-ed

The results from my poll revealed that the online results unanimously preferred the after look (Robert Downey Jr) and the overall poll which includes verbal and IM services revealed that an overwhelming majority preferred the after look as well. I think there was only one person who preferred the before look. So... Iron Man wins!

No... wait... Yao Ming (before look) wins. My 'queen' has veto-ed the poll... so Yao Ming wins. Sigh... just when it reached 70% density and was looking good. Very strange... in the beginning she said she preferred the before look but she doesn't mind the Iron Man look as it made me uglier which would give her peace of mind. Hmmm... whatever that means. Now she has done an about turn and said that I looked older with the Iron Man look. Now I'm cunt-fused... which is which?

It's ok... it can grow back. We shall re-visit this next time.... heh, heh, heh...

Fast Forward...

I have deleted about ten attempts at this blog already...  blur.  Life's been quite a handful... more than a handful actually and as the saying goes. Life's a bitch and it has puppies. I can handle a bitch anytime... but the puppies? One too many for me...

My mind is messed up. I am messed up. I don't even know what to think let alone write. My friends always tell me... it's okay... you're a survivor... you always bounce back. Really? Another saying... not everyday is a Sunday... what if I don't bounce back? What if this is the beginning of the end for me? Do you know? Do I know? I guess not... we can only give it our best shot... nothing less.

This year is supposed to be a good year for me according to the lunar predictions for the year of the Tiger. Assuming that this really is a good year for me and all that has been happening is the good part then I guess I will be pushing daisies when the bad times come.

My late aunt used to tell me... an idle mind is a devil's workshop. I wouldn't say my mind is idle... in fact my mind is in overdrive. It is in overdrive even as I sleep. That's how much thinking I have been doing. I do however have a lot of idle time and therein lies my problem. Too much time and nothing to do... well that's not true either. There are loads of things to do but they all cost money.

Moving from one extreme to another... is another 'puppy'... from an environment where your every move is under scrutiny and criticism to one where you can do whatever you please and left to your own devices. Great right? I'm sure all of you would love such an environment. Wait... here's the catch... you're all ALONE. And I mean alone.

It is always the person whom you love the most who will rip your heart to shreds... always. I know... I have been in both ends. And in both ends more than once. I just put mine back together... it's not like it used to be but it still works and when it stops working the way it should then I will engage the 'no turning back' tool called the brain... when the brain is engaged the heart is disengaged. Sigh... when you get old... er... you mellow down a lot. Look at CBK... look at me... I used to be 70% brain engaged... now it is the other way round.

A friend in need is a friend in deed... We all think we know what this phrase means. And most think that it means a friend in need is a friend indeed. Really? Well... NO. I never ever thought of this phrase... not until I needed help quite badly and help comes from the strangest places... so then I thought of this phrase... again... something my late aunt used to say a lot. In deed and indeed... sounds the same but not the same. I'm sure some English teachers would disagree with me... but this is my opinion... and you know what I say about opinions. Can they prove what they understand? I can...

Me, myself and I... that's the only way. Trust no one.

Fuck... I hate the puppies... and I hate the bitch too.

May 13th... Race, Fluidr, Flickr and Comments

A date to remember... No... I am not going to talk about it. I don't do racial.

Instead I am going to announce that I have added FLUIDR to my links at the right side of this blog. FLUIDR is a website that enables me to link my Flickr account to it. FLUIDR displays all my pictures from Flickr in a very fluid way...a non stop downward scrolling with no pages to click on or turn to... very fluid... hence its name FLUIDR. As you scroll down, the pictures buffer up accordingly. The reason I have added FLUIDR in is because it is a much, much better viewing experience. The entire page has a black background just like this blog which is very easy on the eyes as opposed to the bright and contrasty white background of Flickr. As the black background is easy on the eyes it makes most, if not all the pictures look better than they would on Flickr. Have a try and see for yourself.

Next... if or when you do visit my Flickr and/or FLUID pages, I would very much appreciate if you could spare some time to comment on what you like or don't like. Comments are important for improvement. Flickr is free... and is linked to Yahoo! so if you have a Yahoo! account then you can have it linked to your Flickr account.

Likewise, comments are also encouraged here... hint, hint... Hahaha...

Growing Old...er...

Yesterday, I met with a manager of a bank to discuss some restructuring options for my personal finance. Siti is her name... very pleasant and helpful lady who's expecting her third child end of this month. When I arrived at the bank Siti was busy with another customer so the teller attended to me first and I gave my business card requesting to see the manager. The teller went to Siti and gave my card and Siti probably told the teller that she'll attend to me as soon as she finishes what she was doing. All this while she never did glance around the bank. The bank is pretty small and you can see everyone in one sweeping glance. So, I took a seat and waited.

Not long after, Siti finished and glanced around the bank 'looking' for me... she couldn't make out which was me from my business card so she asked the teller. The teller points to me and Siti hollers me over to go to her office. The guard opens the door and I went in. Siti apologises as she was busy then she went on to say that my card read 'Hotel Manager' as the designation so she was expecting someone older thus she didn't realise I was seated there all along. I responded...

Well, I am old actually...

No... what are you? Early thirties? Mid thirties at the most!

How about 39?

No way! You don't look 39! What's your secret? Can share with my husband.

Ummm... I dunno. 

(In my thoughts, I was thinking.... I have a young girlfriend. Are you sure you want your husband to know my secret? Hahaha...

Anyway, a similar thing happened when I was interviewing my Human Resource Manager candidate Maley. I got to know Maley through a friend who had spoken to Maley over the phone and said that she sounded pleasant and was very helpful. Maley worked in the Sheraton Langkawi. So, I did a cold call and asked her if she was interested to meet up. She was... she recommended a place to meet and it was all set. We have not met nor have I seen her resume... like I said, it was a cold call. When I arrived at the restaurant there was only one person there. A lady... looked Chinese and had her back facing the entrance. She was talking on the phone. As I entered this lady turned around and saw me and she looked like she was asking herself... is this the interviewer? And it also seemed like she dismissed that idea and continued talking on the phone and faced forward. Maley's name suggested she was Indian so I was expecting to see someone else too but since I was about 3 minutes late I had to make sure I was not making any mistakes. So, after just standing there for about 10 seconds and making sure there was no one else, I walked to the front so I could face this lady who was still talking on the phone. She notices me and tells the person on the line to hold on and I asked her... Are you Maley? She confirms and asks me back... Mr. Botak? I said Yes. She ends her conversation on the phone and apologises as she was expecting someone older when I walked in and that I sounded older on the phone. By the way, Maley is not a Chindian... she's of Thai descendant.

So, I don't look my age it seem but I will hit the big 4 next year... in 10 months time. Frankly, I don't feel old but it does get scary. I've known people who just dropped dead in their mid 30s. Really scary... and that is why I was at the bank today. Planning my future... both long term and short term and taking best case scenario and worst case scenario into consideration.

Time really flies... seems like it was just last month when I was getting drunk every day. How old do I really look like? Were they just being nice? Hmmm...

Poll...

All my life I have been subjected to discipline... from home, to school and eventually work. I have worn a tie or a bow tie, almost every single day for the past 24 years. So, when I am off or not in school I enjoy being very casual... VERY. Maybe too casual... Ayu said I dressed like a bum when I'm off. She says it's ok to be casual but I need to be smart. Whatever... I leave the smart part to her to sort out.

Now that I have not had the need to be at my best for the past two months as I am not meeting 'guests', I actually kept a goatee and a moustache... inspired by Iron Man. 

This is Robert Downey Jr as Iron Man with the 'look' I am talking about. Of course he's a celebrity and he has the luxury of having it trimmed and drawn properly. Yes, drawn... you don't really think it was 100% natural ,did you? Or did you?

Then after Iron Man 2, I shaved it clean again. However, after shaving I felt 'naked'... then I grew it again and then I shaved it off again.... and again I felt 'naked'... so I grew it back. I am mixed now between the two looks and since I have nothing better to do with my time these days I thought I'd do a poll and let you guys give me some feedback. To be 'fair' both pictures were taken in Langkawi (like it matters lah! LOL) though in different years and both are with shades.... but I only have a half grown goatee and moustache but never mind lah... you can photoshop it if you want.

BEFORE

AFTER

So ladies and gentlemen... what's your take? What should Botak do? Keep the new look or junk it? Hahaha... someone said that it made me MORE unapproachable. Hahaha... like gangster it seems. Well, better gangster than Yao Ming.