Char Kway Teow, Spaghetti Bolognese & Len Chee Kang

Char Kway Teow is a fantastic dish... the Penang Char Kway Teow that is... no need for me to explain what it is all about, just click on the link and read what Wiki has to say as it has a pretty good interpretation.

Last night, after picking Ayu up from work we stopped by a stall for some food as she had not eaten the whole day. She ordered herself a 'Char Kway Teow'... the kind she likes... I didn't order anything but when her food arrived I change my mind and ordered myself one... the kind that I like. You must now be wondering... what's with the 'she likes' and 'I like' right? Well, hang on... we'll get there soon. This stall prepares a few variations... including the halal and close to original version. So I ordered from the guy... Char Kway Teow Udang (Shrimps)... he looks at me and points to Ayu's dish and said THAT is Char Kway Teow Udang... you want Kway Teow Goreng Udang... I just agreed and he walked off and I started laughing out loud.

We'll have to rewind now... forgive me but it is necessary. Back when I was in Kuantan, there was a day when Ayu said she wanted to have Char Kway Teow. Vistana Kuantan  does a pretty decent Char Kway Teow so I ordered one for her. When it arrived she just looked at it and said... this is not Char Kway Teow. And this led on to a heated debate. She claimed that Char Kway Teow is supposed to be wet and with gravy. So, me being the foodie I tried to explain to her that it is Cantonese Kway Teow that's with gravy and that it's white in color. She insists that I am wrong. She says that all Malay Char Kway Teow in KL has gravy. I wouldn't know because I always have the authentic non-halal topped with Chinese sausage version. I tried to use logic next... Char Kway Teow is Hokkien and it means Fried Flat Noodles... it is of Chinese origin so I know what I am talking about. She insists that I am wrong... and that Char Kway Teow is of Malay origin. She said that I was only saying that because I am Chinese... it matters not whether I am Chinese or not, I believe in facts and I am trying to teach you what is factual... she was adamant. It went on and on and I gave up to avoid things getting 'ugly'. I ended by saying... when we meet your dad we will ask your dad... ok?

That fine day came and we were driving when I asked her to ask her dad. So, she did... her dad started laughing and said... technically the Malays don't have anything to call their own... everything is 'borrowed'... I think 'plagiarized' is a better term... so he explains to his daughter that Char Kway Teow is indeed a Chinese cuisine but the Malays have their variation which is with gravy. Her dad went on to say even noodles are Chinese.

Fast forward to why I laughed... the close to original version... the dry version which I ordered is called Kway Teow Goreng Udang but the plagiarized version is called Char Kway Teow... Duh!! Shouldn't it be the other way round? Ayu is not the only Malay who lays claim to this dish being Malay... 

Len Chee Kang... is a Chinese dessert. It is primarily of lotus seeds (len chee) and dried longans. The commercialized variations have peanuts, jelly, white fungus, sea coconut, attap seeds, lychee and many others. This too has been plagiarized to be Malay-sian... and they call it 'Lai Chi Kang'... just because it has lychees in it. Okay... whatever makes you happy.

Malaysians are a misinformed bunch in general. We can't really blame them for being misinformed but with today's available technology, we certainly can blame them for remaining misinformed.

This comes down to education and MOST IMPORTANTLY the source of that education. If your source is contaminated then all is lost... same applies to religion. Let me give you some simple examples... 

I was having dinner with Ayu and her family at a Thai restaurant in Kajang... one of those Thai-Malay restaurants and one of the dishes that they had ordered was the Kerabu Mangga (Thai Mango Salad/Yam Ma-muang) and when it came Ayu's mom started complaining... because it did not have tomatoes... she exclaimed, what kind is this? It should have tomatoes, bla, bla, bla... I was thinking to myself... ummm the authentic kind? But... they all chorused in agreement. So I attempted to correct them and said that it doesn't have tomatoes... but no... mom knows best... so I shut my mouth up. Som Tam has tomatoes as far as I knew. But what do I know right? Would you believe that they even tried to teach me how Yong Tau Foo should be like? Hello? My mom's Hakka for crying out loud! Sigh...

 

Ayu likes Spaghetti Bolognese... so one day I took the trouble to cook her some... the authentic stuff... all fresh ingredients... she didn't like it and to top it off she insulted me by saying that this is not how it is supposed to be... Excuse me? I was visibly upset... she knew it... and she explained herself... you can't blame me coz I am used to eating the other version... her version is tomato paste and puree only... yeah, cheap fast food versions. I could relate to what she explained so I cooled off. The benchmark is important...

Now the benchmark story... I had an employee who was crazy over one of my other employees. They were lovers. One day she comes to me... and innocently tells me... Along (which means eldest brother, they all call me that)... I really love him. He is the best... I looked at her and said.... I thought you said he is your first boyfriend?... Yes he is and he is the best... Huh? Ok... My dear girl, how would you know that he is the best when you have not experienced anyone else? What is your basis of comparison? What's the benchmark? To cut a long story short, she eventually dumped him. No... I am not mean... he was already taken and two timing her.... with her eyes wide open or shut. 

Most parents here don't realize that their children by default idolize them and every word that comes out of their mouth is accepted as 'the holy grail'... parents here have a habit of lying to their children and feeding their children with nonsense for fear of admitting to their children that they do not know. And we then wonder why they become rascals. Like I said... there is nothing wrong with being misinformed or not knowing something but it is very, very wrong to stay that way. If your child asks you something that you don't know admit that you don't know but please do go and find out and then inform them... NOT lie to them! This is how religion gets distorted... if you ask questions and the 'teacher' does not know how to answer you they feed you with the 'You should not question God's will' bullshit. WTF?

Anyway... Ayu's food experience is all screwed up and from a contaminated source. Well... not just the food but... she's smart and intelligent so reason and logic is easier to modify as opposed to taste buds.  So I have been trying to re-educate her on how food should look and taste like... it's tough because EVERYONE has that 'my mom cooks the best' disease.... I think we should all just grow up and accept facts as facts. If Mahsuri is of Thai descendant then just accept it.... and if Hang Tuah and his consorts are of Chinese descendant, so what? So what? If it is true, it is true... what's the big deal? How does it change anything today? Why jump up and down and start to foam at the mouth? False pride? Of course some may say.... oh, you're just saying all this because you're Chinese... well, I'll have you know that my grandfather is a Burmese. So what? I am a bastard... that's a fact. So what? Many things I do are not my own ideas but I am mature enough to tell you it is not mine... and not just plagiarize it.

Facts are facts... it is just that.

So before I go... is Roti Canai Malay-sian? If we're thick skinned enough to claim it is Malay-sian then maybe we can explain why Roti Canai which literally means Rolled/kneaded Bread is not rolled  nor kneaded but actually hand -tossed... so, we should then call it Roti Tebar (toss/cast) right? So... instead of being misinformed... be informed here.

TGIF...